Love is one of those topics that everyone talks about, but very few actually have anything to say about it. If I had a quarter for every time I have been talking to someone and they start to rattle of several myths about love, I'd me a gazillionaire. Here are my all time favorites:
4. Love is hard and confusing.
3. You can’t help who you “fall in love with.”
2. Love is something you “fall in” and “fall out.”
1. Love is a feeling.
THESE ARE ALL MYTHS!
The truth is that love does not have to be hard and confusing. Relationships are only difficult when neither partner is willing to consider the needs of the other above their own. ooooh, say what?? I know those are fighting words to some of you, but it's true.
Love is not a feeling
Here is something else. Did you know that you can absolutely control who you love? It's amazing that for most everything else we experience, it's a no brainer that we have the final say. Yet, I work with a number of people who believe that have no choice in whom they love. This is simply not true. Just as it is false that people just fall "in and out of love." I'm not sure where the notion of falling in and out of love originated...Hollywood, I'm thinking of you...but there is no such thing. A better idea would be that romantic feelings are hot and heavy and sometimes they are not.
Lastly, the biggest myth of them all is that love is a feeling. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but love is not a feeling. Happiness, Joy, Anger, Sadness, those are all feelings. Love is not, and that's a good thing. You see, when love is just a feeling, my relationship will be in trouble when my feelings change BECAUSE THEY DO!
So I'm going to spend the next few posts spelling out what love actually is. Oh, I know not all of you will agree. Some of you may even say that what I'm going to post is even old-fashioned. This might be true; but it works. So stick around, let me know what you think.